catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

wanglnciaga:

so when ur famous do u just magically have great skin or

andrewhussiesbosom:

please don’t wish for a zombie apocalypse I’m fat and my cardio sucks

swiggityswee:

THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS U CHIPS AND U REACH IN THE BAG BUT U CAN’T GET A HOLD OF A CHIP AND U START SWEATIN’ AND PEOPLE ARE STARING CUZ U CAN’T GET HOLD OF A GODDAMN CHIP AND THEN CHILDREN ARE SCREAMING AND U HEAR GUNSHOTS AND BUILDINGS START COLLAPSING BUT U STILL. CAN’T. GET. A. CHIP.

grass10:

””“”“why did you cut your hair?::”“”“”  i cut my hair to piss you off. specifially you, i was thinking of you when i cut my hair. i was thinking that you, specifically, would be interested in what my newly short hair meant to you, specifically.